August 27th, 2006

carecare

don't you wish that you could just decide your future by throwing a piece of gum at a list of potential careers?

i do.

I remember watching an episode of "Family Matters," I believe, where Laura Winslow takes a test to determine what career she's most suited for. Kind of like the ASVAB test the military administers to high schoolers. (Anyone have to take it?) When she's done, and has left the building, the guy at the career center throws a piece of gum onto a poster and the job that it lands on is her "chosen" career path. (sorry, the details are a little fuzzy. ) of course, this guy's deceit or laziness is uncovered and Laura has to do some real soul searching.

now that I think about it, this episode probably wasn't even part of "Family Matters," but meh, you get the point. I think it was a Sabrina, the teenage witch episode.. or Drew Carey.. well, I used to watch a lot of crappy tv during the summers in my high school years.

I'm starting the 2nd year of my two-year teaching committment and promised myself last year that I would have discovered "THE CAREER" this summer and would consequently start preparing myself this year to do whatever career path I decided to follow.  

But unfortunately, i still have no clue what i want to do.

as many of you know, i was pre-med in college. yeah, way to conform to the Asian-American stereotype, I keep telling myself. 

after lots of reflection and self-analyzing, i realized that i want to go med school for all the wrong reasons. A little bit of me wanted the job stability and the steady flow of income (lots and lots of it!), but really, I wanted the prestige and gasps of amazement and looks of awe that the title of "Doctor Chen" would bring, especially among Asian American parents.  And shoot, I just wanted people to think I was smart. 

First and foremost, I knew that being a doctor would allow me to help people in one of the most direct ways I can think of, with maximum people-to-people interaction, but after beginning Teach For America, I began to wonder if perhaps my abilities  and my desire to make a difference in this world could be used elsewhere.

So then, I considered law school, public policy and public health, toyed with working with non-profits to champion for the underprivileged, and even flirted with the idea of marrying a rich guy and being a housewife.

Now, I'm still at a loss. I have no clue what I want to do in my life, but I want a job where I can make a difference in this world and I do plan on going back to school. I haven't completely ruled out med school, as long as I can justify going to myself, i.e. going for the "right reasons" like intellectual enjoyment, passion for healthcare and for the sick, etc.

I guess I just need to keep praying for God's guidance.

Meanwhile, I guess I'll keep teaching. It's really not that bad. I think I might enjoy it this year.